The Two Kinds of Dreamers
Everyone tells you to “follow your dreams” which to some people is like telling them there is no such thing as gravity. They could hurt themselves. Mostly though, they just waste a lot of money and time creating and chasing dreams. The dreams leave everyone around them disappointed. Dreamers are often really good at describing their dreams and convincing you that they are real.
There are two types of dreamers. One kind is expensive to be, because their dreams have no end and require no actual work. These are really just thoughts, like wishes. These dreamers listen to something like “The Secret” and think all they have to do is think about something vividly enough or really really want it and poof, it appears.
For example, many people spend a lot of money on all sorts of internet marketing programs hoping they will magically make money online without really working at it. Internet marketing gurus capitalize on these types selling them programs that are way too advanced for a beginner. Or, worse, they are scams designed to sell a dream of making money online, and offer little value.
The gurus leave out vital information and so confuse people more than help. But people still believe in them even when the evidence shows they aren’t making money by following the guru’s advice. They probably won’t ever make a penny. But they still think they will, and keep buying into the dream again and again. Other people simply don’t know but once they see the evidence they realize they’ve been scammed they begin to seek real direction.
The other kind of dreamer is very distinct. There ideas may also seem impractical or look unobtainable and large. However, this kind of person actually analyzes and decides on actions to take to reach their goals. It’s no matter that it may take time because their dreams are investments in a future they want.
Some dreams are squelched by work, and some are realized by work. Try telling a dreamer that they won’t lose weight if they don’t exercise and eat whatever they want. This time of dreamer gets upset with you – when their dreams aren’t realized you get blamed. That’s because these dreams aren’t attached to responsibility. They are fantasy. If you start getting mad at someone else or blaming them, rather than taking action, that’s a good indicator you are living in fantasy.
If we could get paid to think of ideas and daydream, some of us would’ve been rich a long time ago. In reality all of the people I know worked hard for what they have. Really hard. For a long time. That doesn’t mean they hated their work and thought it drudgery. No, they love what they do. But there are parts that are still work even for them (like for me, it’s accounting: part of owning a business, but something I’d rather ignore).
How do you know if you’re being sold a dream or if something is obtainable? Look for what is required. If someone promises you something will happen that is very aggressive but has no real plan behind it, beware. If making money takes very little action and you’re not asked to do something (keep commitments), beware.
I don’t think it’s unethical to sell dreams. People want to buy them. There is a good market for dreams. They make people feel good. It’s easy to dodge responsibility for them. There is nothing required but a belief. Even legitimate products are marketed this way, to get people to take action. There is a real benefit beyond the dream though.
Being a bit of a dreamer myself, I attract other dreamers. But I always watch for what dreams are just for fun or part of being creative, or simply delusional, and what is real and obtainable.
The people with obtainable dreams are easy to spot: the person is willing to invest more than money or belief alone. They are willing to invest consistent time and effort. They will sacrifice (give up what they want now for something else later) for it.
And even if the outcome turns out different than what they imagined at first, they are not moving in circles repeating the same things over and over again. They are progressing. Where they are today is not a version of where they were yesterday. It’s something unique. That is the kind of dreamer I admire. The other kind is entertaining sometimes, but it’s a bad way to live a life.
4 Responses to “The Two Kinds of Dreamers”
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May 14th, 2007 at 7:08 am
Great post Janet, though I disagree with this paragraph:
“I don’t think it’s unethical to sell dreams. People want to buy them. There is a good market for dreams. They make people feel good. It’s easy to dodge responsibility for them. There is nothing required but a belief. Even legitimate products are marketed this way, to get people to take action. There is a real benefit beyond the dream though.”
I do think it is wrong to sell dreams that help people dodge responsibility. You become nothing but a snake oil salesman. You offer false hopes for people to build on. I have close friends who make millions a year off of selling false hopes (MLM-ers). However, their millions come from the disparity of others. Their philosophy: sell the world and then take money until one realizes what you’re peddling isn’t the world but a pile of manure; repeat cycle with the next hopeless dreamer!
May 14th, 2007 at 11:26 am
We get a lot of users who have obviously fallen victim to dream sellers. I can tell because they are really timid and skeptical. They’re always looking for the catch.
We are in the affiliate marketing space. We are also the first service of our kind, so I can see how we could be associated with these types of schemers.
We pride ourselves on being completely open and honest with our users. We’re not selling get rich quick, we’re striving to be a very real resource for people genuinely interested in affiliate marketing.
May 15th, 2007 at 1:05 am
Great post! I think Paul needs to read the entire article that he disagrees with though.
“Even legitimate products are marketed [as a dream], to get people to take action. There is real benefit beyond the dream though.”
The question you have to ask is are the dreams you are selling people really helping them “dodge responsibility” or “offering false hopes”? Sometimes people hear what they want to hear. They are told that it will take work, commitment, motivation, etc. but they choose to ignore those things and “dream away”. This choice is up to them. As long as a dream sellers explain the upfront commitments tied to the dream and buyers understand it won’t be a get rich quick, million dollar overnight type system, dreams are a great way to build value in what you offer.
I really like what you said here: “…even if the outcome turns out different than what they imagined at first, they are not moving in circles repeating the same things over and over again. They are progressing. Where they are today is not a version of where they were yesterday. It’s something unique. That is the kind of dreamer I admire…”
Makes me propose the question: What is True Success?
May 15th, 2007 at 11:31 am
Personally, I prefer to spend my time making people’s realities better to cultivating dreams. Having worked in the IT department of several MLMs, I came across a different type of dream. It is one where the “dreamers” pull large numbers of people into a collective nightmare.
Politicians are also pretty good at dreaming up collective nightmares.
Sadly, the dreamers have a habit of out shouting the reality enhancers. A reality enhancer has to invest thousands of hours studying reality, and testing different ways to making reality better.
A dreamer can start speaking before they have even fully formulated the words will come out. A reality enhancer might still be in market research when the dreamer is doing the IPO for their collective nightmare.