Why I Hate Forums
I’m usually upbeat but I’m on one today…
I’ve never been a fan of forums. To me they seem to be the most unfriendly communities. Facebook and Twitter are inviting and people are friendly. Places like Wikipedia, most forums I’ve been on, Digg and others aren’t. Which is why I gravitate towards Kirtsy.
People with large egos or power on these site get ruthless. They have something to protect. Maybe they don’t actually like dealing with people in real life or virtually.
Antisocials running social sites.
From what I’ve seen they don’t show a lot of tact – especially to marketers (thanks to the marketers who spam who we all pay penance for). They ban people. They seem to feel everything should be done out of the goodness of your heart – failing to recognize that people who contribute have a reason to. Even if that reason is for fame or the exposure of their ideas (something I know a lot about!). If you get banned from these communities (heck, even if you get banned from Google) forget democracy because you have little recourse. Unless you’re lucky (which I was once – I was banned from AdSense when I was new. I was kicked off of Commission Junction for not making any commissions in 6 months – but they let me back on and I have made money ever since). To me they act like you should be put in prision for breaking one of their rules. And the rules are paragraphs and paragraphs that no one ever reads.
If I could break down the rules for a community it should be not to dominate or harm the community. If what you do doesn’t violate that you should be given some leeway. Perhaps be treated like something besides a criminal.
I suppose I’m grouchy about mean-spiritedness – I’ve been watching and reading too many stories that show disregard for others in one form or another. I like people and socializing. I take a stand for treating people with dignity and respect – even online – and even when they’ve broken the rules.
11 Responses to “Why I Hate Forums”
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April 7th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Spot on! This is exactly why my partner and I begged off an invite to participate in one of these things. Excellent, excellent post. Mostly it’s because I agree, but it’s still very important to articulate the why. Steve
April 7th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Odd, I was just blogging about the inherent meanness I see in social media.
I have a hard time with twitter as I feel that I am being judged socially with each twit. If you write something that challenges people, then people ostracize you.
I’ve come across some extremely hostile Wikis. Judd Bagley has a project called anti-socialmedia.
Personally, I think our problems are due largely to the way that we are taught to handle challenges.
Far too much effort is invested in finding ways to dominate media as opposed to finding ways to use media to help each other.
April 7th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Janet,
I did not know you were banned by Adsense. Did they ever let you back in? They never let me back in…. in retrospect I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I also find forums to be rather unfriendly. I can’t say that I would ever miss any forums that I currently “belong” too.
April 7th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Opps I missed a “z” in my previous comment. If you can fix it feel free to delete this comment. Sorry.
April 8th, 2009 at 6:23 am
Kevin,
Most of my experience with social media has been really good. However different sites seem to have their own feel. They are social cults. I named ones I’ve found to be unfriendly. Which doesn’t mean everyone on the site is unfriendly.
Just like in real life people can be rude, unpleasant or deceptive. It’s just easier to get an audience online. There’s not a lot of responsibility built in. And there can be a lot of power when those people are in charge.
I think people have short attention spans and quickly react or ban you if you don’t fit what they’re looking for (you’re not relevant). It’s fair. I do it myself. I’ve stopped following people who were too crass, who brought up social issues I passionately disagree with, too often, etc.
Thanks for your comment. And as you said to me, don’t take it too seriously. Avoid the antisocials and find/follow people who you value.
Janet
April 8th, 2009 at 6:30 am
Vlad,
I don’t see the missing z. I wouldn’t worry so much about occasional misspellings. Your English is better than you give yourself credit for.
I did get back into AdSense. I had someone powerful (with connections) represent me. It was an innocent mistake I never did again.
I also got the WordPress hosted version of this blog banned, got it back, and it got banned again. I had a connection there and I asked why it was banned. He said it was banned for ONE LINK they considered spam. They sent me a file of my blog. Too much work – I didn’t know what to do with it. I gave up.
Typical. No recourse. And I like WordPress generally. I got lucky with Google.
It’s not necessarily a democracy – the people in charge can do whatever they want. They have power to boot you off, treat you like a convict or whatever else they want – if you use their services. Sometimes it’s impersonal other times they are mean-spirited.
Forums seem to attract the worst though.
Janet
May 13th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Forums on paper sound like a good idea. A bunch of individuals sharing knowledge, and helping each other for the betterment of this online society, or simply having a friendly discussion about life.
Forums in actuality are places where the anti-social, and social outcasts thrive. Where your status is measured by how many posts you’ve made, and “noobs” are treated like dirt.
For me PhP and Web Design forum are filled with the biggest @ssholes I’ve ever not met. The community claims that it wants to help you with problems, but only after you’ve proven what YOU can bring to the table. If I knew what I was doing, why would I come here for help?
It’s forums where a noob (ie: someone with less that 100 posts) will ask a legitimate question and have his/her thread devolve into a rant amongst the other members about which BBQ sauce is the best, or why is Chuck Norris so handsome. Avoid forums and just let these sewer rats procreate amongst themselves.
June 3rd, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Thank you for a start for Allowing me to comment Unlike Forums . What i hate about them most is the fact that they can’t use open id. Not to forget bashing then the topic gets lost and you are scrolling till your wrist breaks looking for the answer.I think Google and Yahoo should demote all forums from pr#1 that do not use open id.
I made a mistake once by bringing up a thread 8 weeks old when i just joined forum and i was called a troll but i did not have 25 posts or even want to write 25 posts to bring up a new one .
Now i just goto Yahoo answers but i am waiting till these stupid forums stop in search results
September 29th, 2009 at 6:51 am
I realise this is an old post but it’s just come up in a search I was doing.. I just wanted to say I’m another person who completely agrees with what you’ve said.
Forums are the most antisocial social communities you can come across. I joined one the other day, posted a few times, and then got backchatted by two people with 10,000+ posts for not “adding to the community”. There are a few nice people to find, but you have to search. Blegh to forums!
August 11th, 2011 at 3:33 am
Forums are a waste of time in my opinion. The people are a hassle and most just act idiotic for the sake of being on the internet. Find a better passtime.
September 26th, 2011 at 7:08 pm
Yep, agree on this!
I’ve found forums to be full of the most socially retarded people – who are so insecure they need to cut anyone down if they don’t agree with their view of things.
I’ve experienced violent threats against me purely because of an ‘opinion’. I’ve been called a winger when i offered valued advice. etc…etc…
Here’s the killer. Find a flaw in some product that people love, and they’ll try and cut you down instead of actually accepting the truth.
Forums are pure Egotistic thought-driven piles of crap… and you’ll be able to find the kingpins by the amount of posts they make.
A bit of fun. Find someone who’s done like 8000 posts. Then look at their activation date. Divide the number of posts by the number of days.
Sad! Some people find time to make 20+ posts a day. Which means they spend a good amount of time conjecturing their opinion around…
Think about it – what kind of people are these?
Socially retarded